“Since you live in a world of such extreme uncertainty, one of your highest requirements of those you have relationships with is a mode of behavior that allows you to know what to expect. (A Course of Love, 31.36)”
Affirmation: “I will not have expectations of my loved ones today.”
1 – The Dilemma
The passage for today highlights a very human predicament. Because the world is uncertain in that we never know what to expect next, we try to impose certainty by having expectations of our significant others.
2 – Do Expectations Work?
But does this ever–ever–work? I don’t know of any case in which it works consistently. Our loved ones are not here always to do our bidding. And even when they are willing to do so, the flesh is weak, and we cannot always depend on them to be there when we need them. Nor can we depend on loved ones to do for us what only we can do for ourselves, we in conjunction with the Divine.
3 – Asking Too Much
We are asking too much of our loved ones with unrealistic expectations. It is expectations, ironically, what cause the breakdown of many relationships. “Don’t lean on me, for you will knock me over.” I once heard internally these words in regard to a particular significant other in my life. We do not want to displace our burdens on already burdened human beings. They may not be able to sustain us. And, moreover, sustaining us it not their business. We need to be whole human beings, secure within ourselves, with God’s help, who form a healthy bond to another. Do not our secular psychologies say much about co-dependent relationships?
4 – Can Never Predict
We can never predict accurately what our loved ones will say or do in any meaningful way, even when we know them well. And this is asking too much of them, as I have implied.
5 – Depend on the Self/Christ
Then we cannot choose amiss, though we will still make mistakes that are eminently correctable. We can always choose again if a given day goes badly. Our main choice, for God, has been made, and we are, if intellectually certain, ready to walk a green earth under such conditions.
I would not get uptight today due to uncertainty, for I would depend upon my Self/Christ, and God to give me the guidance to live in an uncertain world. There is no other way to live dependably.
Be with me as I walk in this uncertain world today. You and You alone can heal me, can allow me to know what to do to choose the Self/Christ within, and the guidance that comes from such a choice.
Help me to choose once again, if this day should go awry. I can always start the day again, if things do go awry. But I do pray that this day will proceed easily and peacefully, Your way.