“Once you are no longer concerned with needs and the meeting of needs you will no longer be concerned with special relationships. You will realize that there is no loss but only gain involved in letting them go.” (ACOL, T2:9.16)
We made people special to us for selfish reasons: because we thought that we needed their support, emotional and otherwise. Other people will not feel the lack if we give up the idea of specialness—or, more exactly, if we enlarge specialness to include the whole world. This then is not specialness at all, but an all-embracing holy relationship with all brothers and sisters everywhere.
The selfish reasons for special relationships are not often recognized. We think that we find someone out there who “completes” us, and then we fall into highs and lows of drama as we seek to solidify the relationship. Sometimes the relationship succeeds, and sometimes it doesn’t. But our drama in its enactment is very real.
We have learned through A Course of Love that drama is of the ego. We have also learned that we don’t want the ego. The way is clear, now, to giving the ego up, and if we sink into calm and quiet, deep within, we will be living in true reality. Our movement toward Christ-consciousness will be quicker and more certain. And we will realize that we lost nothing when we made all special relationships holy, leaving out nobody.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that we will engage in physical displays of affection with just any and every one. But it does mean that we will love with a deeper love than we have ever known before.
And this will be the particular blessing that we give our most beloved.
Thank You for the calm that I feel today. My fears of yesterday are gone. This is Your doing. I prayed for relief, and You answered my need.
May I enjoy holy relationships with my formerly special relationships. Holy enlarges. There is no loss. I will love ever more deeply.
Thank You for showing me how to love ever more deeply.