“Realize that you know that it is not God who abandoned you, but you who abandoned your Self and God. Give up your desire to think that if you did such a thing there was a reason for you to have done so. How many times have you asked yourself why you would have chosen separation if there had not been a reason for you to do so? Realize that a reason has been given here and that this reason, while perfectly believable, is not one that includes a need to abandon your Self or God. Why should you be more inclined to believe that you left a para¬dise in order to live a while in a form that would cause you much suffering and strife, for the sole reason of being separate from that to which you long to return? The only alternative has seemed to be a belief in a God that would banish you from paradise for your sins. We have worked, thus far, to change your idea of a vengeful God. Now we work to change your idea of a vengeful self. For what else would such a self be?” (ACOL, T3:2.11)
Previously, I focused in this blog on the express purpose for our existence, in form, in this world. Jesus defines this as our desire to create a new means of expression, in a physical self, for new experiences that would allow the various selves to experience one another in relationship. Separation happened, but not because we “desired” separation from God. We moved too fast, tried to do too much too quickly. And in the doing of that, we made fear for ourselves, and in this fear made a self borne of fear, the ego-self. And, until recently, this had been all that most of us had ever known.
We thought God rejected us for this misstep. But this idea is far from the truth. We do not have a vengeful God. And now we need to realize that our Christ-Self is also not vengeful, though the egoic self has evidenced elements of vengeance. Our Christ-Self is in charge now, and great will be the changes that this Self will create.
There is a difference between creating and making, a difference pointed out by A Course in Miracles. Creating is meant to denote true reality, while making is the illusion in which we have been caught. Do we not see what great and good changes are ahead for us?
We did not leave paradise meaning to leave God. We were merely creating physical form to experience further. But we got ahead of ourselves. And in the separation from God that ensured, we lived in fear with a fearful self that thought that at any minute God might strike us dead, consign us to hell.
What fearful beliefs we have entertained! Surely the time for such fanciful nonsense is behind us now. Surely the time now is for a new day, a new Self, a better route—and a union with our God, and our brothers and sisters.
There must be something very grand in this physical form, that we would leave a paradise to experience further, to express ourselves in a new and different way. Like everybody else, I made a false turn, and in the false turn made an ego-self who has caused much havoc. I would be through with this havoc. I would walk easily and peacefully with You directing every step.
Be with me today. As always I ask this. I know that You never leave me, that I am a part of You, and that means that You are closer than my breath. You are living through me. This can turn out very well when the ego-self has withered away.
I am finished with the ego-self. Help me to know this in my bones.