“You began your mountain top experience with a companion who had offered himself as a teacher in order to bring you to the place of being willing to accept that a teacher was not needed. He joined you on the mountain top in order to prepare you for his departure, a departure from reliance upon him that would allow you to arrive at reliance upon yourself. . . . Are you beginning to ready yourself to hear this voice as your own? To express the voice of Christ-consciousness as only you can express it?” (ACOL, D:Day21.9)
What does it mean to leave behind Jesus’s guidance, and to rely ourselves? It means that we are depending on the inner Self Who is a part of God—and the Whole Self, the larger Self Who extends outside the dot of our body. Depending on the inner Self becomes so natural that we almost don’t feel as if we have guidance at all; it is just that radical. But we do have guidance, a quiet guidance that comes from our innate Self, the Christ-Self who has longed to come out for eons. We reach to God by going within, no longer afraid of a direct relationship with Him. We don’t have to depend on the Holy Spirit to be the mediator for us, a mediator chosen for us because of egoic fear of the past. No, we are passed all that now.
We will express the voice of Christ-consciousness with a uniqueness all our own. Each of us do has this potential for uniqueness.
Do not be confused if at first we feel bereft of guidance. We may have heard the Voice of the Holy Spirit as Something that seemed outside of us, an intuition that was somewhat beyond us. Now the guidance that we get, the quiet guidance, will come from an innerness that is all our own. We aren’t bereft of guidance; it just comes in such a personal way, as our own voice. This is very freeing.
Mari Perron, scribe of A Course of Love, has said that Jesus’s guidance was with her for about five years after the Course itself. But then she came to understand that Jesus wanted her to make her own decisions.
This was the point at which many of us now occupy. Jesus wants us to make our own decisions. They will be happy, good, and right decisions if we allow the Christ in us to speak for us, if we don’t have any vestiges of the ego. And Jesus has told us that the ego is gone from us, from those of us who have read this far in ACOL.
Take him at his word. Experiment with how it feels to make our own decisions. The choices will seem natural—if we trust. If we don’t trust sufficiently, we may indeed feel cut adrift.
Let trust be our companion today.
I would trust in my own decisions as right and good, coming from a heart that is in the right place, and a mind that has learned to trust the inner Christ-Self in all things. Be with me as I seek to move beyond conflict, and I can do that as I move further into trust.
Help me to trust You to get through to me through the Self. Help me to trust You, period.