When we make comparisons of ourselves to our brother, we ask for sorrow, not joy. We think we come off the winner, but we are merely fooling ourselves; the ego so longs to deceive. It is joy when the ego is laid aside! When we compare (a dynamic always ego-inspired) we diminish ourselves as well as our brother. It is only our own insecurities, our own low self-esteem, that would seek specialness anyway. A confident individual, in surety of her place in God’s kingdom, would welcome diversity, not feel threatened by it. All of us try as hard as, given human frailty, we can. Our brother who is slipping needs our helping hand, not condemnation, and surely not our “bliss” at believing that we are better than he.
A Course in Miracles emphasizes that the holy relationship into which we enter with our brother is a “sharing” phenomenon, and in Heaven we do not keep separate from one another. This may be reminiscent of the biblical assertion that in Heaven there is no giving and taking in marriage. Surely this is an order of unconditional love of which we are only dimly aware on earth. Jesus never counseled promiscuity, and he is believed to have been celibate while on earth, and so we are not talking of a sexual relationship in the fashion that we consider it. Nowhere in the Course is the concept of multiple holy relationships seen as anything but positive. “. . .it is the destiny of all relationships become holy.” (M-3.4:6) Certainly this will mean that jealousy as we know it is an earthly emotion.
But on earth our “special learning partners” are few, because we have found in them a perfect balance with our own needs. These few relationships, once formed, are never relinquished, though we may not recognize how perfectly we are matched to one another. On earth, in fact, there is a whole array of degrees in relationships–from the casual to the most intimate. Sometimes we join for intense learning with another, and then go our separate ways. Sometimes we only smile at another in a crowded elevator, and that is enough. Please know that there is a higher plan at work in our encounters. There are no accidents in salvation. “Yet all who meet will someday meet again, for it is the destiny of all relationships to become holy.” (M-3.4:6) Because we cannot meet “everybody,” the plan specifies exactly who we will meet. Knowing this care in detail is awe-inspiring, being of God Himself, who makes no mistakes.