“Loss of love comes from only one source. Call it fear or call it separation but it is still the same. For in your separated state you ask that love make you special to someone else, and that one special to you. You think this is what love is for, and so you make of it something it is not and only call it love.” (A Course of Love, C:14.22)
Within the separation, the illusory separation from God that hasn’t actually happened, it is impossible for us to be contented aside from special relationships. And, of course, these do not content us long, for we ask both too much and too little of them. Special relationships are fraught with fear. We fear being alone again, that this special one will love less (or leave), or that we (even though together still) do not love equally.
These concepts are all meaningless to a holy relationship, which seeks never to take, but always to give—though we know that giving and receiving are one in love. We will be contented when we give up the idea of having special relationships. Not that these relationships will be snatched away from us—no, never—but that we will never be happy on a continual basis until we have transformed our loves into holy loves.
Fear then will slip away. We know that if we lose one form of love, another will take its place. While we do not try to substitute loves for one another, we do recognize that it is our internal love that is most important. And this means that all Selves are One, all loves are One. Fear has no basis for gaining a foothold when ideas such as this are given sway in a life.
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