I was on a high from successfully defending my dissertation when the dream to publish first emerged. Many years later I can say that the impulse to write was a genuine idea possible of accomplishment and the instigator of some of my most rewarding hours.
A “godfather’s offer” (one I can’t refuse, as in the movie) is at least tangentially related to the fatal flaw of Shakespeare’s tragic characters and, for me, is virtually always coming from the ego. If one makes the decision not to be ruled by the ego, the whole Force of the universe comes into play to reinforce this truly holy endeavor.
On the unreality of reflection: “I have noticed a tendency to ‘resolve’ issues in my journal, and then–later–impulsively to choose a different answer. I think I try to form a certain reality from wishful thinking, but then make a different decision when life seems to suggest otherwise.”