There is an old expression, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
But I am always trying to make “it” better. Isn’t this being too much of a perfectionist?
Achieving at my maximal level has long been a goal. I don’t like to be defeated by anything, to drop out of the race without trying sufficiently. An old “Father Knows Best” television program drove the point home to me while still very young (and aren’t we quite impressionable when young?).
I sense I could take a new pathway in my career, albeit not without struggle. Do I want to be one who, as Milton says, “slinks out of the race, where that immortal garland is to be run for, not without dust and heat”? Yet Milton’s famous passage also suggests that one would know good “by” evil, by the contrast.
This I don’t believe is necessary. Maybe now is one time that my doubts should be respected, because the ultimate goal, being ego-related, is questionable (as well as tangential to what I really want to do). It’s a replay of a “have it all” 1980s motif—surely a way of life most of us are coming to repudiate.