“Others represent the accidents waiting to happen, love that is not returned, the withholding of things you deem important. This fear that you feel in relation to others is as true of those you hold most dear to you as it is of those you would call strangers. It is the very independence of others that makes your own independence seem so important to you. Dependency is not consistent with your notions of a healthy self. What, then is the alternative?
“The alternative is believing in giving and receiving as one.” (A Course of Love, T2:7.2 – 7.3)
We are in unity with others, but we often don’t encourage this unity because of our fear of these same others—even our most significant others. We think that being independent of needing other people will serve us best. We think being close with others will lead to an unhealthy dependency. But is this in line with A Course of Love?
Absolutely not. We give and receive in tandem when we follow the dictates of ACOL. We know that independence is not so very healthy, that the opposite of independence is not dependency, but a heartfelt joining of ourselves to other people. We give them our love; they return our love. The giving up of our solitary nature is actually a most joyful undertaking—when we realize that we were never meant to be isolated and alone. We are meant to share with others, to live in a partnership with others. Why else would the world have so many people?
We are meant to join and to share, giving up our prideful isolation in a choice to give and receive as one with other people sharing our world. This choice will give us joy. Can it be so wrong to choose what will make us happy, avoiding the false independent nature that has failed us so many times?