Tag Archives: expectations

Acting “As If”

            Is it not true that a child learns best when one expects good in her?  Act “as if” a child will respond positively, treat her as you would want a good child to be treated, and the tantrums will fade away.  On the other hand, to focus on the tantrums is to make them stronger.  It is the same with our brother.  Expect the best, let him know that you are seeing the best, and his motivation will fall in line, making our brother a better person.  We must never show that we fear negatives from him; that would be a reinforcement of the possibility of those negatives.  Instead, accentuate the positive in all prayers and all interactions.  Let him know that we love the real Self, and that real Self will blossom before our eyes.  It is indeed very dangerous to act in any other way.  We are all potentially capable of great wrong, and it behooves to turn aside this potentiality, in ourselves and in our brothers, at every opportunity.

            Given this scenario, if we play our part right, our brother will cease so much to see “sin” in himself, and he will adopt our own attitude toward him.  He will begin to act out of the real Self, which is good, because his self-image has changed for the better.  And is this not what we would hope for all people?

–from Out of the Maze, an e-book by the author of this blog.

By Leaps and Bounds Formerly Reserved for Angels

“Thus again is your learning advanced by leaps and bounds formerly reserved for the angels. You are your own wings, your relationships but the breeze that keeps you afloat. (Treatises of A Course of Love: Treatise on the Nature of Unity and Its Recognition, 8.8)”

Affirmation: “I am my own wings, but I need my relationships to keep me afloat.”

Reflections:

1 – Jesus’s Expectations

In A Course of Love, Jesus expects a great deal of us. He indicates that our learning will advance mightily as these days speed by. We make our own decisions, I think he is saying, but we almost desperately need our relationships to stay afloat. We cannot thrive if we are too much without others to help us along. We help others, and they return the favor. We may be introverts, but all of us need people to a degree. Extroverts already know this.

2 – What More Could We Ask?

“. . .By leaps and bounds” is a great reassurance. And this wonderful, gigantic progress was formerly reserved for angels! What more could we ask, for our God has given it all to us!

3 – Learning through Observation

We need to learn, but in A Course of Love we learn through observation. We do not study intently, with great effort, to absorb what Jesus is saying to us now. That intense study served us well in the past, especially in A Course in Miracles, but ACOL is read differently. We need to read it, and read it repeatedly, but with a casual eye, as though we were reading a story. The message will infiltrate our minds and hearts without strenuous effort, and, indeed, strenuous effort would derail our purposes in learning now.

4 – A Gentle Way

So be glad that our way is gentler now. We do not so much have the ego getting into the act. We do leave aside the ego for periods of time, periods of time that will lengthen as the days pass. And we will be led home gently, without struggle and effort. Read A Course in Love with a warm heart, and its words will take that attitude of the heart, and blossom that attitude into something that will indeed feel as though an angel has touched us.

Prayer:

Dear Father/Mother,

I thank You for the reassurances that you are giving today. I need to hear such reassurances, for stress still comes to visit me, regardless of how often I intend to have calm and peace. My good intentions, I well know, do not suffice. I would turn to You often to keep me on an even keel. Surely You will give me the blessing of Your presence as I seek to navigate through troubled waters.

This world is sometimes difficult, but I know that the world seems this way because my perception has become skewed. I would return my thoughts to You, and in that comfort I would receive Your blessing. I ask for Your comfort as the days proceeds. And may I sleep with calm mind and body tonight.

Amen

Our Hatred of Uncertainty

pissarro - pobae026_landscape_chaponval_1880_mus_orsay_paris_france“Since you live in a world of such extreme uncertainty, one of your highest requirements of those you have relationships with is a mode of behavior that allows you to know what to expect.  (A Course of Love, 31.36)”

Affirmation:  “I will not have expectations of my loved ones today.”

Reflections:

1 – The Dilemma

The passage for today highlights a very human predicament.  Because the world is uncertain in that we never know what to expect next, we try to impose certainty by having expectations of our significant others.

2 – Do Expectations Work?

But does this ever–ever–work?  I don’t know of any case in which it works consistently.  Our loved ones are not here always to do our bidding.  And even when they are willing to do so, the flesh is weak, and we cannot always depend on them to be there when we need them.  Nor can we depend on loved ones to do for us what only we can do for ourselves, we in conjunction with the Divine.

3 – Asking Too Much

We are asking too much of our loved ones with unrealistic expectations.  It is expectations, ironically, what cause the breakdown of many relationships.  “Don’t lean on me, for you will knock me over.”  I once heard internally these words in regard to a particular significant other in my life.  We do not want to displace our burdens on already burdened human beings.  They may not be able to sustain us.  And, moreover, sustaining us it not their business.  We need to be whole human beings, secure within ourselves, with God’s help, who form a healthy bond to another.  Do not our secular psychologies say much about co-dependent relationships?

4 – Can Never Predict

We can never predict accurately what our loved ones will say or do in any meaningful way, even when we know them well.  And this is asking too much of them, as I have implied.

5 – Depend on the Self/Christ

Then we cannot choose amiss, though we will still make mistakes that are eminently correctable.  We can always choose again if a given day goes badly.  Our main choice, for God, has been made, and we are, if intellectually certain, ready to walk a green earth under such conditions.

Prayer:

Dear Father/Mother,

I would not get uptight today due to uncertainty, for I would depend upon my Self/Christ, and God to give me the guidance to live in an uncertain world.  There is no other way to live dependably.

Be with me as I walk in this uncertain world today.  You and You alone can heal me, can allow me to know what to do to choose the Self/Christ within, and the guidance that comes from such a choice.

Help me to choose once again, if this day should go awry.  I can always start the day again, if things do go awry.  But I do pray that this day will proceed easily and peacefully, Your way.

Amen.