Tag Archives: marriage and acim

No One Is Where He Is by Accident, and Chance Plays No Part in God’s Plan

1 – Changes

“Changes are required in the minds of God’s teachers. This may or may not involve changes in the external situation. (M26)”
A reassuring passage, this indicates that we do not have to suddenly change outer circumstances when we assent to the way of A Course in Miracles. Some do, but not many (though I was one of those).

2 – The Mind

The mind is here explained to be in the ascendancy, as always. The body is an illusion, as has been stressed over and over in ACIM. The mind will work the changes that we want to make, even if those changes include changes in the external situation. The mind is the decider.

3 – Chance?

“Remember that no one is where he is by accident, and chance plays no part in God’s plan. (M26)”

I find this to be a very reassuring statement. We are not adrift in the world, wily-nily finding our way without any help. We are part of a plan. Very comforting.

4 – Mistake?

So we are not where we are by mistake, and so my difficult situations in life have been for a purpose. I once had a work situation that was close to intolerable. Strangely, I had had a honeymoon on that job that lasted for a year, and then annual peer reviews came about. One of my colleagues, with whom I had been socializing, thinking we were friends, wrote a devastating peer review. And I was devastated accordingly.

5 – Attack

Nothing was ever the same again. I came upon the Workbook lesson, “I can escape from the world that I see by giving up attack thoughts.” And I listened to this lesson very, very carefully. I tried to forgive my former friend, for the review had made a breach between us; we did not socialize together anymore.

6 – Personal Experience

Two years later I was out of that situation at work, and embarking on my marriage and a new work environment. I wrote back to my old place of employment, telling someone who had remained a good friend, “Everyone here is surprisingly congenial.” She decided, she later said, that this was a very sad statement, for it denounced the work environment where she still resided. I had not even realized that this statement was denouncing.

7 – Personal Experience II

Yet the passage above would say that there were things for me to learn in that earlier work environment, that even my former friend could teach me something. I later came to realize that she needed to push others down so that her ego would feel better than others. She continued similar actions with new people after I had left. So it is likely that the peer review had more to do with her own neuroses than with my performance.

8 – Ego

I just didn’t know this at that time. I suffered, or, more appropriately, my ego suffered from being called incompetent. My own ego was too strong and too big to be healthy. Indeed, any ego at all is too strong and too big.

9 – Life Situations

“There are those who are called upon to change their life situation almost immediately, but these are generally special cases. (M26)”

This passage speaks to the pathway of those of us who are ACIM students. It answers a question that many will have, namely, “What will happen to me?”

10 – Change

Herein is described the fact that some who read the ACIM will be asked almost immediately to make changes in their life situation. These may or may not be permanent changes. But, for those of us who are still fearful, A Course in Miracles is reassuring in asserting that only “special cases” may meet with an immediate change in life situation. For the cowards among us (and which of us does not fall in this category at some times), this lets us off the hook.

11 – Guidance

If we do sense guidance from the Holy Spirit that we are to change our life situations almost immediately, then the Holy Spirit will be there throughout the entire episode, be it lasting or temporary. We need not fear; we need only trust.

12 – Relationships

“Relationships in particular must be properly perceived, and all dark cornerstones of unforgiveness removed. Otherwise the old thought system still has a basis for return. (M26)”

The first thing that changed for me when I became a student of A Course in Miracles was my relationships, because I changed. I no longer reciprocated if someone attacked me; I no longer showed anger. I cried into my journal if I felt anger. And it worked.

13 – Reading ACIM

I married within three years of finding ACIM. And I quickly read and reread the books in order to keep my relationship going smoothly.

14 – Work

I also left a work situation that was suffocating. I took to heart the Workbook lesson, “I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts.” And I did escape. It was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I knew then that ACIM worked. When we change our projections, then our perceptions are cleansed of ill effects.

15 – ACIM Works

In all the several years since, I have returned to A Course in Miracles if I feel ready to retaliate when someone has supposedly “harmed” me by verbal attack. ACIM works. Retaliation, attacking back, gets us nothing that we want. And it will ruin the relationships that we have, more often than not.

16 – Defensiveness

Defensiveness also needs to go. Don’t defend yourself, because the defense makes what you are trying to avoid (ACIM tenets). Avoiding attack and avoiding defensiveness are two cardinal rules for making relationships work, according to the ACIM instructions.

Prayer:

Dear Father/Mother,

I was led to change my life situation almost immediately upon reading the Course, but it was not a lasting change. It did make changes in my heart, though, and for that I am grateful.

Thank you for helping me to adjust to a new life situation, and help me now adjust to my new life situations. I know that You are always with me.

Amen.

Marriage

flower in forest“Often, those within the relationship of marriage have had occasion to choose to forgive the past and begin again to build a new relationship. Others, in a similar relationship, might have chosen to let the past go and enter into new relationships. (Treatises of A Course of Love: Treatise on the Personal Self, 15.1)”

Affirmation: “I will contemplate forgiveness in marriage today.”

Reflections:

1 – New Beginning

We are after a new beginning now as we proceed with A Course of Love and its Treatise on the Personal Self. Jesus exemplifies what he is saying by appealing to marriage as an example of a state in which we may constantly seek new beginnings. Or we may end a marriage, and seek a new beginning with someone else. But we cannot have a true new beginning of either kind in a special relationship, for special relationships partake of the past.

2 – Truly New

We often think that the future cannot be different from the past, and this hinders new beginnings. Jesus is leading up to saying that now we can expect a true new beginning in our lives in the matter of salvation. We can expect the elevation of the Self of form.

3 – Glorious Promise

What a glorious promise indeed this is! If those of us in marital relationships would contemplate all that is promised us by new beginnings, our relationship would flourish. And this is just the idea that Jesus wishes to get across.

4 – Special to Holy Relationships

We can know new beginnings, with the intent to leave the past behind. If we cling to the past too tenaciously, our current relationships will be hindered. We are not asked to give up the past, but only to leave it in its place as a cherished part of ourselves. And anytime that special, as opposed to holy, relationships have disturbed us, we ought to mentally transform the special into the holy (an interpretation, not stated in A Course in Miracles or ACOL).

5 – Today We Look Forward

So let us look to new beginnings in marriage today. We owe a lot to these words of Jesus, words that promise us a new beginning in marriage as in salvation leading to Christ-consciousness and the elevation of the Self of form.

Prayer:

Dear Father/Mother,

You know, dear God, that I said to my husband a couple of days ago that now that my mother has just died, I would have to transfer all of my caregiving to him. Of course, he does not need all the caregiving that my mother did. But he will get more and more attention as the days pass.

Thank You for being with me in the most recent days. It is not a tragedy when a 93-year-old individual goes home to You. And without pain. May You shine Your blessings on all my departed family, who are greeting her into the fold again.

And thank You for the support that I have enjoyed in my marriage. This is indeed a time of especial closeness to You.

Amen.